Wednesday. 5:12am
It’s dark in the bedroom.

The faint light emitted by the display of a cell phone illuminates the inside of a small closet. A guy is fumbling around in a drawer with socks, apparently not finding what he needs.

He’s acting quietly, only two steps away from a bed. One side of the bed is still warm, the other side is still in use.

After rummaging around some more, they guy picks up a pair of socks and quietly leaves the room.

I’ve been running for a three weeks again, training to finish half a marathon in the autumn this year. Last Wednesday during my run I learned a couple of things. One of them is that improper socks increase the chance of blisters (ouch).

Over the past four runs I have increased both my distance and speed on every run:

1. 3.5 km | 21:19 | 9.8 km/h
2. 4.2 km | 25:30 | 9.9 km/h
3. 5.0 km | 29:55 | 10.0 km/h
4. 6.1 km | 35:28 | 10.3 km/h

That’s really encouraging, but I should look out for getting overly confident. As you can see in the increase in distance, well even that increasing. First 0.7 km more, then 0.8 km and even 1.1 km on the last run. At this pace, I’ll be running marathons in a matter of weeks! (yes, that’s overconfident)

During that run though, my body was giving me signals. My stamina was not a problem, but my right knee was protesting a little. I noticed a faint irritation, a muscle maybe. Somewhat later, I began to realize that I was developing a blister on one of my toes on my right foot. Hmm, the right side again.

This week I began reading a new book Stupid, Ugly, Unlucky and Rich: Spike’s Guide to Success, and while running I was going through the “8 to be great”. Push and Persist are two of them. So I pushed myself and persisted.

Later that day, my ankle started sending me messages as well. The right ankle. Right again…

Stop right there, Lodewijk! Your body is sending messages, stop and listen, it usually has something meaningful to tell you.

The knee and the ankle.
They show faint feelings of irritation. Nothing serious, will cure with some rest. The solution is to ease the schedule a bit. Don’t overdue it, is what they try to teach me.

All irritations on the right side.
This is a sign of improper technique I guess. I’m not dividing the strain evenly over all parts of my body. Something to focus on in the next run, maybe even find someone who can train me proper technique.

Blisters.
They tell me to use proper equipment. Not regular socks, but socks made for running. Not tennis shoes, but running shoes. Yeah, I knew this but ignored it anyway. Not smart…thank you blisters.

The messages are only warnings, no injuries…yet.

Warning that I may be pushing too hard. So besides getting the right attitude and right equipment, it’s also time to learn some more about training schedules for marathons. After all, I don’t want to get injured by ignorance.

Time to learn something from the people who did this before. Successfully.

I’ll admit it, I’m a stats junkie. I like to track progress, see numbers, have charts on whatever it is I’m trying to accomplish. I share my blog stats with you on a weekly basis in the weekly reviews.

I track my goals and habits on a daily basis too. For this I use Joe’s Goals, a simple web app designed to do just that. In this post I’m going to share with you how I use Joe’s Goals.

Setting up an account

This is a breeze! No annoying questions, just an email address, a nickname and a password and you’re all setup.

Configuring your goals and habits

Once you setup your account, you can start configuring your goals and habits. There are two types of entries that you can make, Goal or Logbook. Goals have scores, Logbooks are meant for comments.

I use both types. Goals are meant for checking off on habits I have completed successfully for the day or for checking of on activities that lead me closer to accomplishing my goals. The Logbook-type I use for planning purposes and for making notes on things I have done. And I use them in combination too, more on that later.

As you can see in the images, the setup screens for an entries are pretty straightforward. They have a nice set of options, but nothing too fancy.

• Goal name
  Like it says, this is where the name goes. Choose any name you like, you don’t have to worry about sorting, because you can change the sort order later.
• Tags
  You can put tags in here. I don’t use this feature.
• Weight - goal only
  You can give a score to the checks you put in this goal. Values range from 1 to 10. This is something I use to give relative weight to my goals and habits.
• Type - goal only
  You can choose whether you want the goal to be positive and earning you points, or negative making you lose points. All my goals are positive, because I want to reward myself for doing something I like, not punish myself.
• Target Days
  Use this feature to mark on what days you want the goal to be active. My weekly review habit for instance is only active on Sundays.
• Display Stats - goal only
  Here you can select what stats you want to see in the overview screen.
• Notes
  And finally, this is where you put whatever it is you feel you need to write down. This does not show in the overview screen.

Sorting your goals

Goals and habits are initially ordered in the order you create them. But fear not as it’s easy to sort them later on, when you discover one you forgot. Just click in the upper right hand corner on the link to “sort goals”. There you can sort them by Alphabetically, by Goal Type or Weight.

If you’re like me, you want neither of those orders. For people like us, you can create a custom sorting order by simply rearranging the goals in the list. Scroll down and click on the “Save Custom Sort Order” button in the bottom.

The overview screen

When you trusted all your goals, habits and other thoughts to the program, you get a nice overview of all your entries in a table. The entries are listed on the left, and you get a week’s worth of spaces to mark your progress.

The default view places the current date as the last date in the table. But using the arrow in the top right hand corner, you scroll forward into the near future. By clicking the calender icon, you can choose a date further away.

Some of my tricks

• Injecting Planning: This feature, combined with the Logbook item, is a great way to inject some planning into the table. I use this for my renovation project as you can see. There’s not an awful lot of room for text, so you can’t be too verbose. By putting the Logbook for actuals (a) right below the planning (p) I can see instantly how much of my plan got executed (and consequently whether I need to adjust my planning).
• Divide into sections: Another trick I use is to divide my table into sections, by inserting a Logbook item with no active days. This results in a blue bar across the table. Make sure to give it a clickable title though (like the dashes I used). I have one goal dangling on the bottom of the table, where I brilliantly used the spacebar to give it an unclickable name. I still need to send a mail to ‘Joe’ to get that one removed from the database.
• Declining points for ‘old’ habit changes: As you can see I used the weight function a lot. For the habits section, I more or less have a system for that. The habits that I have been doing for quite a while now get a lower score than the ones that I just started. But some of them are multi-clickable, like the “Drink water” habit. Every glass of water results in a checkmark.
• Extra credit for perfect days: When I have a perfect day with all my habits, I allow myself to check the main habits goal as well, scoring me an additional 10 points. This is one I came up with fairly recently, so I have yet to get the pleasure of putting in a checkmark there!

Now get started!

There are more features to be discovered in Joe’s Goals, and I could write a lot more about it. The truth is that I don’t use the rest of the features, so I’m not going to elaborate on them.

The biggest benefit of using Joe’s Goals is the fact that you’re inclined to check in daily, to score your progress. Doing this on a daily basis will help you build your goals and habit changes into your daily routine, increasing the likelihood of success.

The important thing is to get started. So surf on over to Joe’s Goals and start tracking your progress. Use my tips if they suit you, or come up with your own hacks. But ultimately it’s not about the hacks or the tracking software, it’s about getting serious about change and progress. But this sure is a nifty tool to enable you to succeed.

Oh…and in case you’re worried about forgetting to check-in on a regular basis: you will get an e-mail reminder (after a configurable number of days) to get your butt back to the site and hold yourself accountable!

I hate going to the dentist. Ever since I was about 14 years old, a visit to the dentist never came without a follow-up appointment for a treatment. I tried my best to prevent it, but to no avail. I also tried not doing my best … that obviously didn’t work either.

The torture treatment sessions were a story apart. I don’t respond very well to anesthetics, they work kind of slow on me. So one of my dentists (I’ve had several) simply didn’t believe me when I said I felt pain after getting a shot, only to get numb for hours after the torture treatment was over. The next one didn’t believe in anesthetics (which was fine by me, because it didn’t make a difference anyway), but he kept on passing guilt on me for needing treatment (I grew to dislike this guy very much).

Now the father of one of my friends is my dentist. At least I can laugh with this guy, because I like him a lot. The treatment and the anesthetics still are no fun and even at 31 years old, I’m procrastinating big time when it comes to making that dreaded regular check-up appointment.

So what’s with the dentist story?
So imagine what my first associations were, when I got to preview a book titled “What can a dentist teach you about business, life and success?”. Insert sounds of high pitched screaming dentist drills, and feelings of nerve pain down your jaw. Not pretty.

After shrugging those associations off, I really got curious about what the answer to that question was going to be and started reading. And I was pleasantly surprised.

Dr Joe Capista is the dentist we’re talking about here, and he’s also the author of the book. In the book he tells his life story, about how an average Joe with a vision of becoming a dentist grew to a successful businessman leading a multi-million dollar dentist operation.

The concepts in his book, like the circle of balance and the success triangle are not really groundbreaking if you’re an avid reader of personal development and business literature (like myself). They contain value and if you’re new to the matter they can be very useful to both areas.

What I liked about his book is the story. Joe Capista realized early in his childhood that he wanted to be a dentist (that was beyond my powers of imagination by the way). He set out to realize that dream, only to get massive amounts of obstacles presented by life. For one he was simply told he wasn’t smart enough and that he was never going to make it. Take that when you’re a child!

But Joe pushed on, and eventually made it to a dentist school, graduated and started his career. Joe is very successful, and not only on the financial measuring stick as he will point out in the book. But what’s interesting to read is that he isn’t a self-made man. Joe accepted mentorship, he listened, he learned and grew along the way.

Joe isn’t talking about how great he is, or how brilliant he has done stuff or how extremely talented he is. In fact he does the opposite, he tells the story of an average guy with a clear vision, determination and the guts to accept help. Kind of like the story that would apply to most of us.

“What can a dentist teach you about business. life and success?” by Dr. Joe Capista is launched this week with a massive Amazon promotion. Ordering this book makes you eligible for over $2000 of other products. If you want to learn more about the guy, check out his blog.

Image by DISC0STU

In every difficult situation is potential value. Believe this, then begin looking for it. Norman Vincent Peale

Sometimes it seems like life is preventing you from achieving your goals. You define your goals right, you make them aligned with you values, you plan the time to work on them and then … something unexpected happens.

This can be anything. Life can be very creative in throwing obstacles on your path. I’ve come to believe that these obstacles are actually a gift of life to you, because they are trying to tell you something. All we need to do is listen, before we go on.

In his famous book The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho touches on this topic as well. One of my favorite quotes from this book is:

Whoever you are, or whatever it is that you do, when you really want something, it’s because that desire originated in the soul of the universe. It’s your mission on earth. And when you want something, the whole universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.

And as true and inspiring as this is, Coelho also says that before you can reach your dream, you will be tested by the very same universe. And besides that test right before reaching his dream, there were many obstacles on the way of the shepherd Santiago as well.

How can we learn from obstacles?

First you need to look at obstacles as tests. They are not there to prevent you from reaching your dream or from achieving your goals. They are there to teach you something about yourself. It is important that you adopt this belief!

I think there are four main challenges in the obstacles we encounter.

Challenge 1: The dream test

Man is so made that whenever anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish. Jean de la Fontaine

One of the first tests you’ll encounter is about the question whether you are really following your own dream. It happens that we sometimes are fooled by ourselves. We define something as a dream, but in reality it’s not entirely our dream. And when we’re not following our own dreams, whose dreams are we pursuing instead? Right! Someone else’s dreams … either in whole or in part, bot someone else’s dreams nevertheless.

If this happens though, life will throw obstacles at you in a staggering pace. Because life wants you to pursue your own dreams, and will make sure that it does what it can to get you back on track. And it does so by making the realization of the false dream very hard.

How to identify: Ask yourself this question: “How would I really feel if I never accomplished this in my entire life?”. Would it leave you hurting and is this too hard to accept? (hint: You have found the dream, or are very close to it) Or would you accept it, and just formulate something else? (hint: Life’s teaching you a lesson)

The action to take: Reconnect to your personal core values, your personal mission statement or your personal mantra. Visualize your future and redefine your dream. This challenge helped you to uncover another piece of it, now fill in the blanks.

Image by jarrodlombardo

Challenge 2: The priority test

I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow. Maya Angelou

If you manage to get past challenge one, you get to the next round: Priority testing. Life has a way to show you how to see your dream and goals in perspective, by showing you what else you need to factor in. If you put your dream as an ultimate top priority, it will throw obstacles at you, related to health (mental or physical), love, family, friends and so on. These are important as well, and can be higher up the priority list.

These topics are often overlooked, partly because they’re ’soft’ and hard to translate into goals, or maybe because they are taken for granted a little bit too easy. Life is trying to teach you that you should pursue your dream, but not regardless!

How to identify: Whenever you’re pushing to get to that goal, something happens. You get ill, your spouse or your children get ill. You lack the energy to get the job done. You suddenly get anxiety attacks.

The action to take: Set your priorities straight. There’s more to life than accomplishing your dream. You need to be fit for purpose to get it done anyway. So take your time to be healthy and relax, take the time to have a family and social life. Living your dream is hardly ever done alone.

Challenge 3: The skills test

Identify the major obstacle that stands between you and your goal and begin today to remove it. Brian Tracy

It may also be that you don’t have the right skills yet, to fully pursue your dream. The obstacles that will arise are those that will call for these skills specifically. Life’s pretty smart when it comes to obstacles

It’s okay to find out that you don’t have the skills yet. Just don’t give up, but make another plan. What you need to remember here is that learning an essential skill to reach your dream, is working on accomplishing that dream too! You may feel like you’re working on something else, or losing time, but in fact you are setting the stage for success later on.

How to identify: You know that the task at hand is essential to achieving your dream, but you are unable to do it. You’ve thought about other ways to get around the problem, but keep getting back to that skill your missing.

The action to take: Learning a new skill might feel like a mountain to conquer. But my experience is that if that skill is necessary to get closer to fulfilling your dream, learning the skill is not that bad after all. The trick is to get started, so take the first step to learn that skill!

Challenge 4: The commitment test

It is a rough road that leads to the heights of greatness. Seneca

This is the true test. You’ve got it all going: It’s the right dream, you’ve got your priorities straight and you’ve got the skills you need. But…are you ready to do what it takes? Because that’s what life is going to test right now.

It’s going to set a stage where you need to show endurance and perseverance. It’s going to make it hard on you, to test wheter you are man or woman enough to deserve to have your dream fulfilled. This is the time to bite yourself into the matter and push on!

How to identify: You’re certain that you’re not dealing with any of the other three challenges, but there’s a challenge nevertheless. You’re not progressing as fast as you had hoped or planned. Or you find that you may need to take another approach to accomplishing it. Or you may need more funding to take the next step. Or … well any step that needs perseverance actually.

The action to take: Persevere! Make a nice visualization, either imaginary or by creating something that will help you visualize. Make small cuecards that help you remind you what you’re trying to accomplish. These will help you stay focused, when endurance and perseverance are called upon.

Image by absolutwade

Identify the challenge and take appropriate action

Life’s up and downs provide windows of opportunity to determine your values and goals. Think of using all obstacles as stepping stones to build the life you want. Marsha Sinetar

These four challenges have their own lessons to teach. But it is essential to identify what challenge you are dealing with. Only with the right action can you pass. You don’t want to push on (action for challenge 4), when you’re not really pursuing your own dream (challenge 1). And you don’t want to redefine your dream (action for challenge 1), when you find out you don’t have the right skills yet (challenge 3). If you take the wrong action, you are not moving closer to fulfilling your dreams. But if you take the wrong action, most of the time Life will just keep on pushing obstacles on your path.

So when life decides to pull you a trick, and place an obstacle on your path, be grateful! It’s an opportunity to learn something about yourself, and you can consciously choose how to deal with that obstacle. Remember that life is not the opponent. Life wants you to live your dream, and will help you to do just that. It’s good to know that Life’s favorite trick is to challenge you. All we can do is listen and learn.

Last weekend I have accomplished one of my big goals. Since last Sunday I am a certified Practitioner in Neuro Linguistic Programming. Or to quote the certificate:

Lodewijk van den Broek has successfully completed the course of training in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and has demonstrated competence in the presuppositions, skills and techniques of Neuro-Linguistic Programming at the level of NLP Practitioner.

Cool huh? I think so! However this article is not about me becoming certified, but about celebrating when you achieve a goal. And taking this as an example is a way to celebrate for me

Goal accomplished?

Accomplishing goals is one of the most gratifying experiences in the goal setting process. It is what all activities and all energy are focused upon: getting the desired result. After all this time working on this goal, alone or in a team, and after overcoming all kinds of unexpected obstacles it has at last produced result. Success!

But…what to do now?

All of a sudden there’s this gaping void of a missing purpose, a loss of direction. This is a natural response, and a lot of people start by setting new goals again. For them the void is so dominant and is perceived as a loss, rather than a gain. So they react by filling the void with new goals.

This is a reaction by adrenaline junkies who have become addicted to the path. It’s like climbing a mountain only to run down again after touching the summit, because the next mountain needs to be climbed.

They have lost their appreciation of a goal accomplished, of the victory of achieving the end-result. It’s great to enjoy the path, but goal setting is about the path and the end-result.

So celebrate the result!

So what do you do when you reached your desired end-result? You celebrate! You won! Go dance your victory dance, sing your song of victory, send out a press release, scream from the top of your lungs, tell everybody around you, buy yourself a gift, have a piece of chocolate cake, take a glass of 18-year old whiskey, get a massage, throw a party…get it?

Achieving success is something to celebrate! The gaping void is not a void; it’s a space to celebrate and to contemplate. But first of all to celebrate!

You just climbed a mountain, now sit down on the summit and enjoy the view. Be proud of being there; look back on the path towards the summit; laugh with the people that climbed with you about the mistakes you made and how you overcame them; thank them for their support along the way.

Be proud!

Celebration is to release the energy that built up along the way, commonly known as stress or strain. Celebrating provides an outlet for that energy and it clears the mind. You will find that the void isn’t a void anymore after the celebration. It’s an open space that you can fill creatively again.

And while enjoying the success and the celebration, small fragments of new goals start to appear. New ideas start to pop up in your mind, not because you need the rush of the path, but because there’s room to create new goals.

Now take the time to realign to your life goals or company goals if you’re in a corporate environment. Make a conscious decision on what you want to achieve next.

I’m not there yet…still celebrating a goal accomplished