Man stands in his own shadow and wonders why it’s dark.
~Zen Proverb

Limitations that are set onto you by others, invoke rebellion. In me it does anyway. Who do they think they are to restrict my freedom? To restrict my ability to choose what to do and what not? If you want to see me getting all wound up, you should do just that.

Now I may react a lot stronger than most people, because freedom is right up there on top of my list of most important personal core values. Don’t touch my freedom! There’s only one person who really is able to limit me in my freedom, without invoking massive rebellious action.

Me.

That’s right. Only me.

Self-Imposed Restraints

It’s me who is my enemy
Me who beats me up
Me who makes the monsters
Me who strips my confidence.
~Paula Cole 

I’ve found that the strongest chains are the ones you use to restrain yourself. It’s unbelievable how creative I can get in restraining myself and limiting my freedom to express myself, to do what I want to do and to be who I want to be. Worst of all, I do it without my own consent and often even not conscious at all. Where’s that inner rebel when you need him?

But I know the answer to that question already: The inner rebel is hurting when I choose to rob myself from my freedom. He’s there inside of me standing by to support me and encourage me every time I need to defend my valued freedom. And then all of a sudden I, the one he tries to defend, turn around and stab him in the back by doing it to myself.

He shuts up, puzzled and hurting.

I know, I can feel his pain. It’s down there in my stomach.

I don’t always recognize it, but sure enough it’s a signal. And one I’m learning to recognize earlier than before, now I came to realize that I truly am my greatest enemy. About as much as I am my greatest asset.

Hidden Powers

I am convinced all of humanity is born with more gifts than we know. Most are born geniuses and just get de-geniused rapidly.
~Buckminster Fuller

Inside of me is a big set of hidden powers, a box of assets, waiting to be tapped into. This belief is relevant to dealing with my self-imposed restraints, because it’s telling me that there’s a hidden power in that behavior as well. I just need to learn to recognize it and to harness its power in a constructive way.

You see, the self-limiting behavior is not bad in itself. I realize it has a positive intention for me too, it’s trying to protect me. It does so by limiting the chance of me getting hurt or feeling bad, because it prevents me from entering into situation that might result in that. And I think that strategy sucks. It’s hardly empowering, and in the end it doesn’t get me anywhere.

Four Steps To New Behavior

The question is how to unleash the power of me, empowered by harnessing that limiting power in a positive way, while being encouraged by my inner rebel. That would result in super powers! (Don’t worry, I’m not going to levitate away right now).

1. First is to acknowledge that my habit of limiting myself is not bad. It’s just a not-so-smart-way of expressing a positive intention. It’s an asset when used in the right way.
2. Second is to understand the benefits you get from that behavior. In my case the intention was to ease my self doubts. By learning the lessons of others and applying them to myself, I got a feeling of certainty. It didn’t last though, but that’s usually the case with bad strategies in behavior.
3. Third is to find a solution that will satisfy both conflicting parts in me. The part that rebels on one hand and the part that restricts on the other hand. Look for alternative behavior or an alternative belief that might satisfy both of them.
4. Fourth is to apply that behavior. It’ll be easier than you think it will be, although it might feel awkward at first. But because both forces are aligned now, there’s less chance of falling back in “bad” behavior.

It’s a simple four step process, that might take a while to really get into my system. Finding new behavior that satisfies both parts however, is more powerful than the old behavior and gives more results. Of course things will happen that will throw me back into old behavior, it’s what I’m accustomed to do after all. But I’ll be quicker at recognizing it, and at adapting my behavior to the most empowering form again.

The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
~Sonya Friedman

Think about this. Others will notice it when you allow yourself to bully yourself around. And if you allow yourself to do that, what would keep others from doing the same? After all you just set the standard…

Photo by myself 

It’s been 5 months since the Early Bird Challenge where I changed from being a night owl to being an early bird. GCM triggered me yesterday to think back on the past months and evaluate this transition.

Benefits of rising early

The first three months were pretty easy. I loved the mornings a lot and I enjoyed the benefits of the new rhythm. I changed the rhythm to be able to spend more time with my wife and son, but that wasn’t the only benefit I gained from adopting this new habit.

• Better rested
  I was surprised to notice that I was better rested in general by changing my rhythm. On average I slept an equal amount of hours, but it was more consistent. No longer did I alternate 3 or 4 hour nights with 7 or 8 hour nights, it changed to a very consistent 6 hours every night (give or take 30 minutes).
• Productivity improved
  The morning hours turned out to be more productive hours than the evening hours. One of the reasons for this is because the morning has the aura of starting, whereas the evening and night have the aura of slowing down. And besides that, there are far less distractions in the early morning hours, there’s absolutely nothing interesting on television at that time for instance.
• Decreased ‘bad evening habits’
  Working late at night was accompanied by some glasses of wine (or a beer or two) and midnight snacks too. Not every night of course, but this happened regularly nevertheless. This decreased dramatically when I changed my rhythm. Less time awake at night decreases the opportunity to consume empty calories (like alcohol) or bad calories at bad times. Even if you work late, your body and metabolism slow down towards the night.
• Increased ‘good morning habits’
  Besides eating and drinking healthier in the morning as opposed to the evening, I also added time to do workouts in the morning. And workouts are a great way to boost energy too! I noticed the benefits throughout the day.

Disrupted rhythm

The past two months have been harder for several reasons. I have been having trouble maintaining the rhythm of rising early. It started when I had the flu and needed a lot more sleep. I was still going to bed early, but the 6 hour nights turned into 9 hour nights for quite some time.

Then when I was getting better, our son went into a new phase and woke up crying a lot at night. This broke our nights to the extent that I did not start rising early anymore, simply to get 6 hours of sleep during a 9 hour night. And broken nights are exhausting!

Meanwhile the days were getting a lot shorter with regard to daylight too. And the reduction of daylight does have an effect on my energy levels. Now I wouldn’t say I suffer from winter depression or anything, but I do notice a change.

Reclaiming the rhythm

I had another round of flu and currently we’re in another phase of midnight crying of my son, due to his molars surfacing. The rhythm of rising early has been disrupted so much that I haven’t been able to get back into it yet.

But I’ve found that waking early is still relatively easy to do. When I set my alarm to 5 or 6 am it’s not that hard to get out of bed. Even when it’s cold and dark! That surprised me to some extent, but mostly it encourages me a lot.

I don’t regret listening to my body when it said to sleep more. I needed the sleep to recover from flu and to survive the broken nights. But I really want to get back into the rhythm, because I found that rhythm very beneficial for me on so many levels that I cherish it.

The main thing is that it gives me energy, mental and physical energy. I’ve found myself with low energy levels lately, and I can name all the reasons for those low energy levels to justify the fact that I feel that way. But it wouldn’t do me any good, now would it? So I won’t do it. Getting back into the rhythm will solve it.

I had already started to get back into the rhythm, but writing this update has given me another boost of motivation. Amazing what writing can do. Thanks for inspiring me to write this article GCM!

photo by CoffeeGeek

I enjoy drinking several cups of coffee a day, but I never really knew whether I should or should not drink this stuff. Is it bad for me, or is it good for me? Does it really have an effect, or do I think it has an effect? I know the latter can be true, as one of my former colleagues once said to feel much more awake after drinking a decaf (without knowing).

So to put an end to ignorance, I did some research. And it contradicts a little. So for your enjoyment, 5 reasons to drink coffee, and 5 to don’t drink it.

5 reasons to drink coffee

1. It heightens your senses
   Coffee has several effects on your awareness, your senses and your mental capabilities. Albeit on a short term only, there are no lasting effects. Coffee contains caffeine, but is also known to stimulate the production of cortisone and adrenaline. These are hormones that prepare your body for a fight or flight response.

   They make you very aware! But you can feel a little stressed out as well…

2. It protects against diabetes
   Drinking coffee reduces the risk of getting diabetes mellitus type 2. This is the type where body tissues become resistant to insulin. Obesity, among a lot of other factors, is currently a major cause for diabetes type 2.
   Click to continue »

I was tagged recently by Jenny and Erin who are on a quest for understanding. They are running a contest asking bloggers to post about habits (update: I won the contest!) Since this fits my blog perfectly, I accepted the challenge. The questions they ask are:

• How big of a role do habits play in your daily life?
  
• Do your habits typically form intentionally or unconsciously?
  
• What approaches have you found successful in shaping them?

Well, I think we have a habitual life! I think most of what we do consists of habits, and that’s great, because we can choose what habits we want.

Habits rule our world
Let’s first take a look at what the dictionary says about habits:

hab·it
–noun

1. an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary;
2. customary practice or use;
3. a particular practice, custom, or usage;
4. a dominant or regular disposition or tendency; prevailing character or quality.

source: dictionary.com

Habits are an acquired behavior pattern that we follow involuntary. Scary right? In psychology this is also known as a conditioned behavior. It means we react to our circumstances in an acquired, conditioned standard way every time! Click to continue »

The Early Bird Challenge is over! A month of waking early to test if I could change from a night owl to an early bird. And I did it! I expected it to be one of the hardest and biggest habit changes I was undertaking so far, but it turned out to be very easy. And I also figured out why.

Sunset versus sunrise

Rising early does more to me than I anticipated. I love the sunrise. It’s so much better than sunset…for everyday life. Don’t get me wrong, I love the sunset as well. Sunset is beautiful and it can be a special moment where the day ends and all goes to rest and many parties begin. Sunset on the beach…anytime!

Sunrise gives me so much energy. I wake up when the earth is still sleeping and while I’m awake, but still waking up, energy starts to flow around me as the world is waking up. Animals start to move, birds start singing, light floods the world and the air is fresh and pure. I love it. Just to experience all the energy flowing, gives me so much energy of my own.

Experienced benefits of rising early

Like I said I have a lot more energy as compared to staying up late. This energy makes me more productive on several accounts. Click to continue »