Okay, this is a strange title. But it’s exactly how I feel at the moment. I was planning to do a series on the presuppositions of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). In my textbook for the NLP Practitioners training I’m following are 8 (eight) presuppositions, but they’re in Dutch. So I set out to find the correct English translations for them on the internet. I figured I could easily find them somewhere.

And I did. Boy I did, I found about 20 of them! And now I’m confused…how many are there? And why are there only 8 in my book, including one that I can’t seem to find anywhere on the net? I’m going to start discussing them anyway, there seem to be a handful that come back in every list, so they’re first. But I can’t tell (yet) where the series will end…

If anyone knows more about the presuppositions of NLP and their origins, I would be grateful if you let me know where I can find it. I’m eager to get the complete overview. Thanks!

Wednesday is NLP day. I have an ambition to become NLP Trainer and I’m currently in training to be a certified NLP Practitioner, step 1 towards my goal. On Wednesday I discuss concepts, thoughts and experiences with NLP.

NLP has many presuppositions that are needed to explain the theories in NLP. So I’m dedicating a series on the different presuppositions. And I’m taking them heads-on.

The act of presupposing
To presuppose is “to suppose or assume beforehand; take for granted in advance”. Presuppositions therefore are assumptions that NLP considers to be true, without the explicit need for proof.

This is tricky, because this means that they can be wrong. However to construct a theory, assumptions are needed. It’s good practice to make Click to continue »

There is a scene in the Star Wars movie The Empire Strikes Back that holds a lot of lessons. In the scene Jedi Master Yoda teaches young Luke Skywalker the principles of mastering the ways of the force. One of the assignments Yoda gives Luke is to lift the X-wing fighter from the Dagobah swamp using the power of his mind alone. Luke responds: ‘I’ll try’. Yoda then gets agitated and replies: ‘No! Do or do not…there is no try!’. Yoda is right (of course).

The power of words

Now we aren’t quite Jedi fighters now are we? So using the power of our mind alone to lift things sounds rather far fetched. Maybe so, but our mind is more powerful than most people realize. And like Yoda corrects Luke about the words he uses, we can use words to unleash the power of our minds. When we speak to ourselves (out loud or in our mind) we are essentially programming ourselves to execute an assignment. Our subconscious mind takes these assignments literally, so it’s important to give unambiguous assignments focussed at the desired results. And that’s where the verb try roars its ugly head.

Try…and you will fail

We use the verb try very much in our language. We use it to express a positive attitude towards executing something of which we’re not really sure about whether we’ll be successful at finishing it. At least, that’s the appearance it has. To try means to make an effort to do or accomplish something. With it we commit ourselves to the effort, but not to the result! Worse still the word try focuses more on failure than on success.

The message “I’ll try to do it” clearly sends a different message than “I’ll do this” or “I will do this”. When we try we anticipate failure, and send this message of failure to our subconscious mind. When we do we send a message focussed on success. Failure is still possible of course, however we don’t program ourselves for failure!

So next time when you catch yourself saying that you’ll try it, take a pause, and rephrase it to something else. Don’t try to do your MIT’s everyday, don’t try to drink enough water during the day, don’t try to do weight lifting exercises three times a week. Just do it! Remember Yoda: Do or do not…there is no try!

Next month I’m going to start participating in a NLP Practitioner training course. I’ve read a lot about NLP in the past, from various authors, ranging from the popular Anthony Robbins to the spiritual Paul Liekens (an author from Belgium). Books can learn you a lot (especially if you do the exercises they advise!). It is however hard to interact with books, and I’m looking forward to interacting with fellow students and teachers.

Why NLP you might ask? Deciding upon values and ambitions is very important to get a focus on achieving your goals and your dreams. I believe that dealing with language in a conscious way is a very powerful habit in being efficient and effective in working towards achieving those goals and dreams.

It will take around 7 weekends in the next seven months, and I’m very excited about starting. If all goes well, I’ll be certified by mid-december. I’ll keep you posted on my experiences.

Words (verbs actually) that I really dislike are “must” and “have to”. They are used in expressions of a compulsive nature. They are used to give commands; they express an absence of choice.

A little while back I was reading Brian Kim’s blog. I disagree with Brian Kim that MUST-phrases are “better language”, as he states in his post on underdog teams. He proposes to use I must instead of I’d like to, and although I agree that the phrase is an improvement, I must is still what I consider bad language.

As you might know, I hate it when someone tells me I must do something, or that I have to do something. Give me advice, or give me something to think about, but please let me decide for myself! I’m particularly aware of it when other people do this to me, probably because one of my strongest values is freedom, and I express that through my power of choice.

However I noticed about a year ago that I use must and have to all day long. Not to others, but to myself! I’m commanding myself to do things I have to do. I have to finish this book. I have to do groceries. I must exercise today. It does the job…well most of the times it did anyway. The bad thing is that when I finish what I tell myself I must do…it doesn’t always feel good! The feeling is best described as “relief” or “absence of guilt”. I know I’m doing all kinds of stuff that’s important to me, yet it doesn’t really satisfy me.

Every time I caught myself commanding myself around, I started asking myself questions:

• Who says it has to be done?
• Why do I have to do this?
• What happens if I don’t do it?
• What do I get from doing it?

These are not questions to avoid execution, but questions to investigate why I’m being commanded around. Because behind every command is a desire to achieve something. There is a want that I want to be fulfilled. I want to learn what the book has to teach me; I want to have a healthy diner tonight; I want to have a good stamina. Fulfilling wants gives me pleasure while doing it, and a sense of accomplishment when finishing it. Discovering the want behind the command, changes my perception of the task from doing a chore to executing a meaningful activity. In the end it’s still the same work, but the energy that accompanies it changes polarity. I like to do it, and I’m proud of the results.

This can work for you too! Explore the wants behind the commands, and discover a satisfying world full of positive energy. You have to try it! (pun intended)

I also encourage you to check out Brian’s blog, because he has some really insightful posts. I don’t always agree with him, but he makes me think and that’s something I value very high.