A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.
So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”
The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.
“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions–things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. “The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.
The sand is everything else–the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. “Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”
One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers.
The moral of this parable is a clear one. First fill your life with the important stuff, the golf balls. Then add stuff that supports the golf balls, the pebbles. You’re allowed to add more filling, and finish it off with a beer. The problem is that in life we don’t start with an empty jar.
Identifying your balls
In the search for a purposeful and passionate life you start to look for the important things. You take a good look at your life (the jar) and identify a couple of them. Some are real clear, some are only barely visible. There are all kinds of pebbles blocking your view. And then there’s that strange mud that smells of beer…
Then with some introspection you (re)discover some things that are definitely not in the jar. Forgotten passions, denied passions and such. You get yourself some golf balls and write those things on there. Proud of the new finds you look at the jar, only to find that there’s no room for those new balls.
There you are, looking at a jar filled to the rim and three golf balls in your hand that you want to put in there too. Energized by the find, discouraged by the result.
Clearing away the mud
To get more space for those balls, we need to clear some mud first. Now that sounds pretty easy from a jar perspective, but how do you go about that in real life?
Actually there’s a lot that’s been written about it already. Leo Babauta of Zen Habits wrote about it a lot, browse his articles on simplicity and you’ll find many tips on clearing away the sand and maybe some pebbles. Clay Collins of The Growing Life wrote a great post about clearing away pebbles and clearing away the sand. You’ll find many tips on these excellent blogs, there’s no need for me to repeat them here.
The only thing I’ll repeat here is the concept of baselining Clay Collins talks about:
The process of baselining involves writing down everything you don’t have to have, be, or do, to live a happy and fulfilled life.
This is the quintessence of simplifying. Eliminating everything that does not serve you to be happy or fulfilled. Away with the clutter, away with bullshit, away with the wants and needs instigated in you by marketers. This is similar to taking out the pebbles in our parable.
Take some time to sit down and write a list of things that are in your life, but are not necessary for a happy and fulfilling life. You might get a handful straight away, and then go blank. Just contemplate on ti for some more time, and things will come up. Put the list up on the wall of the toilet, the mirror in the bathroom, or any place you get to see it often. Over the course of days, you will encounter situations that can go on the list too. This exercise alone is already changing your mindset, and you will get inspired to actually start eliminating stuff from your life.
This is the approach I have taken (and I’m far from done). There’s so much stuff left, so much things to eliminate. And the beautiful result is that there’s so much more time to spend on the important things. And as a bonus you might just discover one of the hidden golf balls in the middle of the jar.
Fear of the empty jar
Don’t worry about this one. There will never be an empty jar, there will always be a nice set of golf balls in there. Being conscious on this one will lead to a clear jar with the golf balls you choose, supported by the pebbles you need to support those golf balls.
In the parable the professor said: “The golf balls are the important things–your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions–things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.”
If you add a handful of pebbles, that’s full enough for me. Scratch the rest (I’ll have the beer though). How about you?
Photos by memekode, Sroown and frumbert
, and while running I was going through the “8 to be great”. Push and Persist are two of them. So I pushed myself and persisted.
