Dave Navarro, the kick-a$$ blogger of Rock Your Day, has given me the honor of an interview on his blog, about doing what you love, success and work-life balance. Hop on over to read it, and while you’re there check out Dave’s blog. It rocks (in more than one way).

Interview with International Man of Mystery Lodewijk van den Broek

Answering those questions was a lot of fun, it’s interesting to reflect on them in an interview. It’s a different experience when you answer questions, than when you’re making blog posts about similar topics. Very refreshing, thanks for that Dave!

If you’re visiting from Rock Your Day…

Welcome to How to be an Original, my home on the web. It’s awesome that you’re visiting here! Feel free to take a look around. I’m here for a little over a year now, it was a year in which I learned a lot.

Of course there’s more about me, my name and this blog on the about page. Only recently have I taken up the courage to call this blog a personal blog, you can read about that in the post on passionate people.

There’s so much more to explore around here. Spend as much time as you like. Have any questions for me? Contact me via the contact page, or put it in the comments. I’d love to hear from you! Have fun, and thanks again for being here!

‘Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
~ Lyrics from “Rockstar” by Nickelback

Fifteen cars? Is that what you want too? Chances are that the thought of something similar has crossed your mind at some time in your life. How couldn’t it have, we’re pummeled with the marketed picture of those “perfect” lives almost on a daily basis.

And that’s a problem. There are so many influences and media these days that we are consistently battered with messages about stuff to do, be or want. Sure, we zap away, develop ad blindness, take it with a grain of salt or even ridicule the commercials. But they work anyway. Trust me on this one, they work. On you, on me, on everyone.

Now featured in the self help literature

It’s not that concerning when it comes to what brand of soda we buy, or what brand of beer. But the effect extends to the level of the way we want to live our lives. Our goals and our visions of how a successful life are lived are influenced by them in a major way.

This trend has even crossed over to the self help section of your book store. Stories of abundance and grand riches have always been a part of the success literature, partly because it’s one of the most common ways of measuring success and partly because that’s what people are looking for. But if you look carefully at how they are presented, there’s been a a change.

It changed from examples to a theory or a message, to the example of how it’s done and what you should want too. The book and the accompanying movie “The Secret” are a big example for this phenomenon. I’ve written about them before, and if you read that you know that I’m divided about the message.

Overly focused on materialistic objects

One of the effects that I totally hate is the overfocus on the materialistic translation of being successful. Somehow that’s the effect that gets across the most and in the most ridiculous way too. If you haven’t seen the movie, watch this video that’s available at the website of The Secret:

It’s something isn’t it? Videos like these inspire other people to make videos like these (search youtube for mind movies and find many more):

(why are Martin Luther King, Mahatma Ghandi, John Lennon and Mother Theresa in there?!)

It’s amazing, it’s so MTV Cribs. Hilltop houses and fifteen cars. I mean I can understand Jay Leno, he has a passion for cars. He’s a collector, and collectors are passionately crazy about the objects they collect. But a random set of expensive high performance cars, what’s it gonna bring you? That’s the question not a lot of people ask themselves.

Goals are often solutions, result oriented. And especially in western society we have a tendency to translate that into a materialistic result. Something tangible, something we can measure. The Secret has given people examples of goals (houses, dollars, cars, shoes, diamonds) that represent a big monetary value.

But what does the money bring you? What does owning a hilltop house bring you? What does owning three performance cars bring you? What does [insert materialistic object] bring you?

What does owning … bring you?

Money can bring you a sense of certainty, peace of mind. That’s a result! It can be “Fuck you money” by bringing you the ability to say no to stuff that you don’t want to do. That’s a result! The money by itself is nothing, it represents something for you. And that something is what makes it valuable. The same goes for the cars, the private jet, the multiple houses. What do they bring you? What makes them valuable for you.

And when you know what they bring you, you know that you have defined a solution to getting that. How many alternatives can you come up with that bring the same effect? I can bet with you that there are alternatives that are more viable, more authentic, than the marketed goals that we are likely to adopt.

I know I’ve fallen victim to it. On several occasions even. But I usually recognize them later on, and cross them off my list ruthlessly and think about what result I’m really after and what alternative ways there are to accomplish them. I’ve found that there always are. And usually simpler too.

On Sundays I’m looking back on the past week. How did I perform towards my goals? How did my blog do? And how am I keeping up with my productivity habits?

Blog performance

No statistics at all this week. I’m dropping Technorati as a metric on this blog, and FeedBurner has been bouncing up and down with incomplete statistics all week long. The numbers are so unrealiable that it’s even hard to figure out it should’ve been. All I’ll say is: they’re moving in the right direction.

I also joined the blogging pack at the Authority Blogger forum. It’s an idea inspired by this post by Michael Martine at Remarkablogger. It actually has evolved into something totally different than Michael meant in his article, but nevertheless it’s an interesting project.

Progress towards goals

I cleaned up the table in this section. So much so that the table is no longer there. It was taking up a lot of space for only two active goals at this time.

Renovation Project
Status:
Overdue, since 02/2008.
Progress this week:
Fairly good progress this week. Painted walls the walls this week (2 coats).
Planning next week:
Installing radiators for heating and making a design for a construction with sliding doors and the windowsill.

Semi Marathon training
Status:
On schedule. Deadline is October 12, 2008.
Progress this week:
I did only one run this week, a short 3 kilometer interval training with an average speed of a little over 11 km/h. I started using MyAsics this week. Not the shoes, but the website. It’s a service provided by Asics, and provides training schedules, logbooks and much more. I’ve set up a training schedule for the semi marathon. Based on my fitness level and four training days a week, my optimum end date is somewhere in August. Enough time to meet the deadline, and there’s room to make up for delays.
Planning next week:
Buying proper running shoes in a shop specialized in running gear. And running according to schedule, 4 times next week.

Productivity Habits - weekly review

Nothing really special to say about this topic at this point. Maybe next week.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was.

So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous “yes.”

The professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

“Now,” said the professor, as the laughter subsided, “I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things–your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions–things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. “The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car.

The sand is everything else–the small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first,” he continued, “there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. “Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.”

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the beer represented. The professor smiled. “I’m glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there’s always room for a couple of beers.

The moral of this parable is a clear one. First fill your life with the important stuff, the golf balls. Then add stuff that supports the golf balls, the pebbles. You’re allowed to add more filling, and finish it off with a beer. The problem is that in life we don’t start with an empty jar.

Identifying your balls

In the search for a purposeful and passionate life you start to look for the important things. You take a good look at your life (the jar) and identify a couple of them. Some are real clear, some are only barely visible. There are all kinds of pebbles blocking your view. And then there’s that strange mud that smells of beer…

Then with some introspection you (re)discover some things that are definitely not in the jar. Forgotten passions, denied passions and such. You get yourself some golf balls and write those things on there. Proud of the new finds you look at the jar, only to find that there’s no room for those new balls.

There you are, looking at a jar filled to the rim and three golf balls in your hand that you want to put in there too. Energized by the find, discouraged by the result.

Clearing away the mud

To get more space for those balls, we need to clear some mud first. Now that sounds pretty easy from a jar perspective, but how do you go about that in real life?

Actually there’s a lot that’s been written about it already. Leo Babauta of Zen Habits wrote about it a lot, browse his articles on simplicity and you’ll find many tips on clearing away the sand and maybe some pebbles. Clay Collins of The Growing Life wrote a great post about clearing away pebbles and clearing away the sand. You’ll find many tips on these excellent blogs, there’s no need for me to repeat them here.

The only thing I’ll repeat here is the concept of baselining Clay Collins talks about:

The process of baselining involves writing down everything you don’t have to have, be, or do, to live a happy and fulfilled life.

This is the quintessence of simplifying. Eliminating everything that does not serve you to be happy or fulfilled. Away with the clutter, away with bullshit, away with the wants and needs instigated in you by marketers. This is similar to taking out the pebbles in our parable.

Take some time to sit down and write a list of things that are in your life, but are not necessary for a happy and fulfilling life. You might get a handful straight away, and then go blank. Just contemplate on ti for some more time, and things will come up. Put the list up on the wall of the toilet, the mirror in the bathroom, or any place you get to see it often. Over the course of days, you will encounter situations that can go on the list too. This exercise alone is already changing your mindset, and you will get inspired to actually start eliminating stuff from your life.

This is the approach I have taken (and I’m far from done). There’s so much stuff left, so much things to eliminate. And the beautiful result is that there’s so much more time to spend on the important things. And as a bonus you might just discover one of the hidden golf balls in the middle of the jar.

Fear of the empty jar

Don’t worry about this one. There will never be an empty jar, there will always be a nice set of golf balls in there. Being conscious on this one will lead to a clear jar with the golf balls you choose, supported by the pebbles you need to support those golf balls.

In the parable the professor said: “The golf balls are the important things–your family, your health, your children, your friends, your favorite passions–things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.”

If you add a handful of pebbles, that’s full enough for me. Scratch the rest (I’ll have the beer though). How about you?

Photos by memekode, Sroown and frumbert

On Sundays I’m looking back on the past week. How did I perform towards my goals? How did my blog do? And how am I keeping up with my productivity habits?

Blog performance

I’ve been working a lot on Scraping Pennies this past week. There are still a couple of things I need to do on the design, but it’s live now! So if you’re interested in my fully transparent experiment on making money online, do follow that link.

The stats.
FeedBurner is again not reporting all subscribers. This time it’s the Google Subscribers who are missing in action. And that hurts the stats a lot, because most of you use Google Reader or iGoogle as the feedreader. I corrected for the missing stats, to find out the subscribers are stable. No change there.

Visitors increased, as did Technorati. I did not look into new stats for How to be an Original this week. But I will drop Technorati as a metric. It doesn’t fit the purpose of the blog.

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